November 18

November 18

I am torn.  Here are some thoughts that I opted not to share in a youtube comment, as I continue to go through Armored Skeptic's videos:

You [, Armored Skeptic,] have convinced me to follow in Mur's footsteps, that even though I trust something I'd like to call G-d, even so when someone asks me "do you believe in G-d" the truthful answer is "NO!" because they have no clue what that really means.

Not that anyone will ask me; they will see the yarmalka and assume I believe in something like what Christians they know believe in...but no, not true at all!

--

^Those are the two true sentences.  Both scare me like you wouldn't believe.  And it's equally scary when I imagine that an "Abrahamic" extremist would ask me "do you believe in the same Abrahamic G-d as us?" and I'd be tempted to answer "no" and proceed "and neither do the rest of us religious Jews, what do you think we are, stupid?" and proceed to proudly offer the last moments of my life al kedushat ha-Shem.

(I hope that people smarten up before it gets that bad.  I also hope that we learn to connect with those who have a harder time connecting with what I just called "smartening up".  Abandonment/neglect is the whole problem with the world, now and always...yes, this assertion requires a proof, and I think I have it, [I also hope I try to live by it], but I'm lonely and tired and don't feel like sharing it unless someone non-ironically asks me to share it.)

Gah, for someone just trying to become always true to himself [or as close as I can get], my approach to life seems to be getting wrought with paradoxes and nothing else.

"To understand G-d, you must understand he does not exist" --Mur