bs''d
What is the mood of an empty will?
It's certainly not sad. It wants, but what it wants is nothing.
It definitely exists. It has what it wants. What other kind of existence can a will have?
What is the mood of a photon? It wants, so it acts.
What is the mood of darkness? It also wants. It also acts.
It wants what light wants, or it wouldn't let light have it. It acts where light doesn't? No. It acts everywhere.
Does the light listen to the darkness? Does the darkness listen to the darkness?
They don't have to. They're one. One will, one action.
Two men are fighting. They think they have two minds. One thinks he wants what the other thinks he doesn't.
But they only have one body. His nails want what his arm wants -- they both want his arm to bleed. If the arm didn't want to bleed, it wouldn't. Simple as that.
Their body exists. Its mind exists. Their minds exist. Their thoughts exist. He *wants* to think what he thinks -- and he *wants* it to conflict.
And those thoughts, as it turns out, want to be destroyed. His arm wants to be destroyed. His fist wants to be destroyed. He certainly wants to be destroyed.
The question is, will there be anything left? Of course.
He wants to live. He wants to live and be destroyed. He wants to think and have his thoughts destroyed. In a phrase, he wants, but what he wants is nothing.
It's hard to speak for the Jews as a whole. What I am about to say is probably wrong.
The Jews want a lot of things. They want a lot of things to live and be destroyed, and live anyway.
The living anyway part is important. They want to lift up one foot, and have it fall again. To lift the other foot, and have it fall again. Then to lift the first foot, and so on.
That's why it's called halakha -- from "halakh" -- "He walked."
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
Notes on a video, notes on a story
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xx4562gesw0
Particularly note 3:25 --> 8:20
--
"The wise man began to praise the king very, very highly. The king was very humble. Wherever he had greatness, he had humility. When a person is truly humble, the more he is praised and made great, the smaller and more humble he becomes. Therefore, when the wise man praised him and spoke of his greatness, the king became very small and humble, until he literally became nothing.
The king then could not hold himself back. He threw aside the curtain so as to see the wide man...who knew and understood all this. In doing so, however, the king revealed his face, and the sage saw him."
("The Humble King", Rabbi Nachman's Stories, by R. Aryeh Kaplan, pp. 134-135)
--
Think of momentum as...well, spiritual state. A mind hoIds many possible actions, hopes, fears..."position" might be thought of as a set of imagined situations, and "momentum" as one's ability to created a desired/undesired outcome from that situation. All other properties (Pauli exclusion, energy, mass, uncertainty) can also be transferred, with some work. I hope I get to do that work, but it might just remain here as a seed.
Learn humility from the neutron star. And, if you wish, learn much more. Why, in a "knowing-he-must-collapse" state, would the king be forced to open the curtain? Why, in that state, does he never (to the eyes of others) collapse?
I wish I knew how to better explain this...there is a lot of overlap between the phenomena described in that video, and this story.
--
Other notes:
1. With momentum comes frequency. There exists a lesson in Likutei Moharan (60-70 range) which describes the difference between someone learning from the tzaddik face to face and learning from a book, that they'll be energized "just right". If a star holds many frequencies, to the point where that space continually expands, then the process described in this video may be a good way to visualize the concepts of that lesson.
2. As far as Pauli exclusion principle applying in the world of mind. There exists another lesson in Likutei Moharan (unknown location) which describes a "ladder" of madregas/spiritual levels, and no two people can occupy the same position at the same time, and describes the dynamics of moving on that ladder. This video may be useful in visualizing that lesson as well.
Particularly note 3:25 --> 8:20
--
"The wise man began to praise the king very, very highly. The king was very humble. Wherever he had greatness, he had humility. When a person is truly humble, the more he is praised and made great, the smaller and more humble he becomes. Therefore, when the wise man praised him and spoke of his greatness, the king became very small and humble, until he literally became nothing.
The king then could not hold himself back. He threw aside the curtain so as to see the wide man...who knew and understood all this. In doing so, however, the king revealed his face, and the sage saw him."
("The Humble King", Rabbi Nachman's Stories, by R. Aryeh Kaplan, pp. 134-135)
--
Think of momentum as...well, spiritual state. A mind hoIds many possible actions, hopes, fears..."position" might be thought of as a set of imagined situations, and "momentum" as one's ability to created a desired/undesired outcome from that situation. All other properties (Pauli exclusion, energy, mass, uncertainty) can also be transferred, with some work. I hope I get to do that work, but it might just remain here as a seed.
Learn humility from the neutron star. And, if you wish, learn much more. Why, in a "knowing-he-must-collapse" state, would the king be forced to open the curtain? Why, in that state, does he never (to the eyes of others) collapse?
I wish I knew how to better explain this...there is a lot of overlap between the phenomena described in that video, and this story.
--
Other notes:
1. With momentum comes frequency. There exists a lesson in Likutei Moharan (60-70 range) which describes the difference between someone learning from the tzaddik face to face and learning from a book, that they'll be energized "just right". If a star holds many frequencies, to the point where that space continually expands, then the process described in this video may be a good way to visualize the concepts of that lesson.
2. As far as Pauli exclusion principle applying in the world of mind. There exists another lesson in Likutei Moharan (unknown location) which describes a "ladder" of madregas/spiritual levels, and no two people can occupy the same position at the same time, and describes the dynamics of moving on that ladder. This video may be useful in visualizing that lesson as well.
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
December 8
bs''d
I am working on youtube videos covering responses to a few different texts. Some of them are...edgy...and I am nervous that simple media inexperience will prevent them from working as they might.
One is already up: Principle of Syntropy. It's not good. I hope to re-upload once I've done a few more.
The next will likely be much longer, but iy''h at least slightly edited.
I am working on youtube videos covering responses to a few different texts. Some of them are...edgy...and I am nervous that simple media inexperience will prevent them from working as they might.
One is already up: Principle of Syntropy. It's not good. I hope to re-upload once I've done a few more.
The next will likely be much longer, but iy''h at least slightly edited.
Saturday, November 28, 2015
November 28
bs''d
Well, that was a lot of silence. It's been a busy week. If you live in the states, I'm sure you understand.
November 28
My uncle decided to send me an internet version of something the Torah teaches about atheism. I appreciated this. I know it means I'm on the right track with my studies, actions, and writings right now. This is a bridge that will be built. I won't share the teaching at this point on this blog..maybe in context, but not out of context.
I have been bothered for a long time by another person's behavior. They were assigned a title with power, which cannot be revoked. They seemed to overstep that title's bound. I wondered about why, and was having trouble not judging.
I got an answer this week. It was very precise. I was put under the same perception he was under [though transposed to a cashiering context] , and was made to understand the special factors at play in his case that made not overstepping so difficult.
And with the help of some miracles, I was even held back from overstepping! Always nice to know someone's looking out for me. :)
"klal uprat uklal, i atah yachol lidon ela k'ein haprat"
Answers are always nice. I am glad to understand that person better.
Well, that was a lot of silence. It's been a busy week. If you live in the states, I'm sure you understand.
November 28
My uncle decided to send me an internet version of something the Torah teaches about atheism. I appreciated this. I know it means I'm on the right track with my studies, actions, and writings right now. This is a bridge that will be built. I won't share the teaching at this point on this blog..maybe in context, but not out of context.
I have been bothered for a long time by another person's behavior. They were assigned a title with power, which cannot be revoked. They seemed to overstep that title's bound. I wondered about why, and was having trouble not judging.
I got an answer this week. It was very precise. I was put under the same perception he was under [though transposed to a cashiering context] , and was made to understand the special factors at play in his case that made not overstepping so difficult.
And with the help of some miracles, I was even held back from overstepping! Always nice to know someone's looking out for me. :)
"klal uprat uklal, i atah yachol lidon ela k'ein haprat"
Answers are always nice. I am glad to understand that person better.
Thursday, November 19, 2015
November 19
bs''d
After my November 18 post, I was glad to read Tzvi Kilov's piece, "When a Non-Jew Asked What I Believe", and see some of my frustrations echoed there.
(Except because of his choice of audience/venue/voice, he waxes poetic instead of just saying "I'm just trying to be true to myself and end up with all these contradictions.".)
It amazes me, today like yesterday, that the Jews are set to be pitted against "perfect faith". I know this will come out for good, and I pray there won't be too much bad nursing in the meanwhile.
The combination of this knowing and praying leads to me being really scared to jump into the role that I think I'm designed to have in what comes next. I want to keep writing. Writing is safe. I want to stop writing. I want to stick with connecting with people I already feel safe around. Strangers are scary. And especially the ones with the, umm, "Israeli" mindset, i.e. the ones I would grow most by reaching out to. And I feel rude trying to connect with people through anything more than writing or pure audio, whom I met over the internet.
(Alright, there's two true sentences in the above. Continuing though...)
Armored Skeptic's character gives me courage. Sargon of Akkad's non-character gives me courage. I know I shouldn't start on youtube unless a desire emerges for me to do so...I tried once and quickly realized my mistake. But perhaps if I hide my face...(See Likutei Moharan 60 for an archetype of why this might help...My videos would probably not be strictly "torah", but they would probably be something intense. Namely, they would be me. I am intense. xD)
We'll see. I need to think of a good costume.
After my November 18 post, I was glad to read Tzvi Kilov's piece, "When a Non-Jew Asked What I Believe", and see some of my frustrations echoed there.
(Except because of his choice of audience/venue/voice, he waxes poetic instead of just saying "I'm just trying to be true to myself and end up with all these contradictions.".)
It amazes me, today like yesterday, that the Jews are set to be pitted against "perfect faith". I know this will come out for good, and I pray there won't be too much bad nursing in the meanwhile.
The combination of this knowing and praying leads to me being really scared to jump into the role that I think I'm designed to have in what comes next. I want to keep writing. Writing is safe. I want to stop writing. I want to stick with connecting with people I already feel safe around. Strangers are scary. And especially the ones with the, umm, "Israeli" mindset, i.e. the ones I would grow most by reaching out to. And I feel rude trying to connect with people through anything more than writing or pure audio, whom I met over the internet.
(Alright, there's two true sentences in the above. Continuing though...)
Armored Skeptic's character gives me courage. Sargon of Akkad's non-character gives me courage. I know I shouldn't start on youtube unless a desire emerges for me to do so...I tried once and quickly realized my mistake. But perhaps if I hide my face...(See Likutei Moharan 60 for an archetype of why this might help...My videos would probably not be strictly "torah", but they would probably be something intense. Namely, they would be me. I am intense. xD)
We'll see. I need to think of a good costume.
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Beginnings -- concept expansion
bs''d
I'd just like to talk a bit more about something briefly mentioned in the November 6/7/8 post:
I'm going to take some time here to discuss the ideas in this lesson from Rabbi Nachman, as I understand them. They are simple, but important.
First, a translation of the relevant part of LM 62:5 is in order. (i.e. I don't know that everyone still reading at this point is interested in learning about fasts, or "sparks", or speech, so let's get to the readily accessible part.)
Honestly, I am proud just to have put that into English, even if it's still unreadable for all but the patient. If someone non-ironically wants, I will return to it. Even if nobody does, I hope to share some examples, to ground the idea.
(Must go, lots of important cashiering to do! :D :D [I seriously love my job right now. I know this is weird, but I really enjoy it.])
I'd just like to talk a bit more about something briefly mentioned in the November 6/7/8 post:
This effort is already a flop, but that is utterly OK. Beginnings are all about the flopping. Think Magikarp, or Feebas. (Or look at Likutei Moharan 62:5)
I'm going to take some time here to discuss the ideas in this lesson from Rabbi Nachman, as I understand them. They are simple, but important.
First, a translation of the relevant part of LM 62:5 is in order. (i.e. I don't know that everyone still reading at this point is interested in learning about fasts, or "sparks", or speech, so let's get to the readily accessible part.)
The main aspect of a fast is only when we regard the hours when we initiated fasting as important. For instance, when a person fasts for two days -- the second day, which is rendered 'more important' [than the first day], isn't [more important] because of itself, but rather because [on the second day] we 'review'/'go back to' the first day -- then the second day is regarded as a greater merit [than the first].
And similarly, the essence of all things is the initiation, because "all initiations are difficult" (Mechilta, Jethro, as clarified in the commentary of Rashi), because [the thing] 'goes out' from one extreme, over to another extreme [Jeremy's Note: c.w. Rambam, Hilchot Deot 3:1], but after the initiation he enters into habit ['momentum' may be more literal here] and it's not quite as difficult for him. And thus, every day that he distances himself from his initial change, the thing becomes easier, and he enters into habit.
It is thus found that the main part of the effort of the work of all the days is only in the initiation, and that a person must 'turn' back, towards the very first day, when he began to develop his ability to put [his desire to do good from his current situation] into practice and [began] to fast, which was the beginning of repentance -- for the initiation was difficult for him, and he went from one extreme to another -- and on every day he must 'turn back' in order to receive strength from the initiation.
Honestly, I am proud just to have put that into English, even if it's still unreadable for all but the patient. If someone non-ironically wants, I will return to it. Even if nobody does, I hope to share some examples, to ground the idea.
(Must go, lots of important cashiering to do! :D :D [I seriously love my job right now. I know this is weird, but I really enjoy it.])
November 18
November 18
I am torn. Here are some thoughts that I opted not to share in a youtube comment, as I continue to go through Armored Skeptic's videos:
You [, Armored Skeptic,] have convinced me to follow in Mur's footsteps, that even though I trust something I'd like to call G-d, even so when someone asks me "do you believe in G-d" the truthful answer is "NO!" because they have no clue what that really means.
Not that anyone will ask me; they will see the yarmalka and assume I believe in something like what Christians they know believe in...but no, not true at all!
--
^Those are the two true sentences. Both scare me like you wouldn't believe. And it's equally scary when I imagine that an "Abrahamic" extremist would ask me "do you believe in the same Abrahamic G-d as us?" and I'd be tempted to answer "no" and proceed "and neither do the rest of us religious Jews, what do you think we are, stupid?" and proceed to proudly offer the last moments of my life al kedushat ha-Shem.
(I hope that people smarten up before it gets that bad. I also hope that we learn to connect with those who have a harder time connecting with what I just called "smartening up". Abandonment/neglect is the whole problem with the world, now and always...yes, this assertion requires a proof, and I think I have it, [I also hope I try to live by it], but I'm lonely and tired and don't feel like sharing it unless someone non-ironically asks me to share it.)
Gah, for someone just trying to become always true to himself [or as close as I can get], my approach to life seems to be getting wrought with paradoxes and nothing else.
"To understand G-d, you must understand he does not exist" --Mur
I am torn. Here are some thoughts that I opted not to share in a youtube comment, as I continue to go through Armored Skeptic's videos:
You [, Armored Skeptic,] have convinced me to follow in Mur's footsteps, that even though I trust something I'd like to call G-d, even so when someone asks me "do you believe in G-d" the truthful answer is "NO!" because they have no clue what that really means.
Not that anyone will ask me; they will see the yarmalka and assume I believe in something like what Christians they know believe in...but no, not true at all!
--
^Those are the two true sentences. Both scare me like you wouldn't believe. And it's equally scary when I imagine that an "Abrahamic" extremist would ask me "do you believe in the same Abrahamic G-d as us?" and I'd be tempted to answer "no" and proceed "and neither do the rest of us religious Jews, what do you think we are, stupid?" and proceed to proudly offer the last moments of my life al kedushat ha-Shem.
(I hope that people smarten up before it gets that bad. I also hope that we learn to connect with those who have a harder time connecting with what I just called "smartening up". Abandonment/neglect is the whole problem with the world, now and always...yes, this assertion requires a proof, and I think I have it, [I also hope I try to live by it], but I'm lonely and tired and don't feel like sharing it unless someone non-ironically asks me to share it.)
Gah, for someone just trying to become always true to himself [or as close as I can get], my approach to life seems to be getting wrought with paradoxes and nothing else.
"To understand G-d, you must understand he does not exist" --Mur
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
bs''d
November 17
I hope not to use Judaism, or anything else, as a cult, which means that I hope not to think/act, until scientifically shown otherwise (I believe I used the word "scientifically" correctly here) as if a person or group's world-model is all-encompassing, even if some aspects of it do manage to be [all-encompassing].
I become very scared when I see that this hope isn't shared by all, but I am especially scared of myself, because I see נפלאות ("wonders", but a deeper meaning along the lines of "a perceivable connection from the silliest externality into the deepest essence") all over the place these days. [Or, they seem that way.]
--
More thoughts for today, because the above feels incomplete, though true:
Armored Skeptic has reminded me (I forget which video...multiple of them, but particularly his discussion w/ Sargon of Akkad) that a thing is not what it evolves from. (See their overview of what historians see of ancient Israel, and try to compare that with our stories.) I do not think that questioning the historic "factuality" of these stories questions their אמת. (Better said: I know better.)
I hope and pray to be able to share what I've seen in...TODAY's Rabbinic Judaism -- the literature, at least -- that I have not seen elsewhere. As Armored Skeptic also reminded me (in one of his "Under The Helmet" videos -- I forget which) it is the current state of affairs that matters most, in deciding who to be around/who to trust. What this literature's writers do can only be described as...magical.
(Magical: appearing to make use of resources that the onlooker is not aware of himself -- the onlooker, that is -- potentially having, and which he would want, if he became aware of having them.)
November 17
I hope not to use Judaism, or anything else, as a cult, which means that I hope not to think/act, until scientifically shown otherwise (I believe I used the word "scientifically" correctly here) as if a person or group's world-model is all-encompassing, even if some aspects of it do manage to be [all-encompassing].
I become very scared when I see that this hope isn't shared by all, but I am especially scared of myself, because I see נפלאות ("wonders", but a deeper meaning along the lines of "a perceivable connection from the silliest externality into the deepest essence") all over the place these days. [Or, they seem that way.]
--
More thoughts for today, because the above feels incomplete, though true:
Armored Skeptic has reminded me (I forget which video...multiple of them, but particularly his discussion w/ Sargon of Akkad) that a thing is not what it evolves from. (See their overview of what historians see of ancient Israel, and try to compare that with our stories.) I do not think that questioning the historic "factuality" of these stories questions their אמת. (Better said: I know better.)
I hope and pray to be able to share what I've seen in...TODAY's Rabbinic Judaism -- the literature, at least -- that I have not seen elsewhere. As Armored Skeptic also reminded me (in one of his "Under The Helmet" videos -- I forget which) it is the current state of affairs that matters most, in deciding who to be around/who to trust. What this literature's writers do can only be described as...magical.
(Magical: appearing to make use of resources that the onlooker is not aware of himself -- the onlooker, that is -- potentially having, and which he would want, if he became aware of having them.)
Monday, November 16, 2015
November 15/16
November 15
I have known my thought process as extraverted for a few months now, and I know that my lifestyle is a very bad one with respect to that fact.
If I don't do something about it, I will pay the price in all things I could have done and didn't do.
(seems enough this time)
November 16
Today's atheists are not all heretics as our sages have defined it -- i.e. as Epicurianism or an impatience that leads to a refusal to try to understand how a person can honestly/responsibly arrive at our religious mindset. I have seen neither of these flaws in the atheists whose discussions I have studied/heard.
(This is not to say that heresy as Jews define it is dead...it isn't...it is inherent to this world)
The Judgement: If so, and they level criticism against us, then belief in G-d implies there is some truth in that criticism, and we have an obligation to receive that truth with respect and gratitude.
^I've wanted to say that for weeks.
I have known my thought process as extraverted for a few months now, and I know that my lifestyle is a very bad one with respect to that fact.
If I don't do something about it, I will pay the price in all things I could have done and didn't do.
(seems enough this time)
November 16
Today's atheists are not all heretics as our sages have defined it -- i.e. as Epicurianism or an impatience that leads to a refusal to try to understand how a person can honestly/responsibly arrive at our religious mindset. I have seen neither of these flaws in the atheists whose discussions I have studied/heard.
(This is not to say that heresy as Jews define it is dead...it isn't...it is inherent to this world)
The Judgement: If so, and they level criticism against us, then belief in G-d implies there is some truth in that criticism, and we have an obligation to receive that truth with respect and gratitude.
^I've wanted to say that for weeks.
November 9-13
bs''d
I had a post for november 9-14, but it seems to have been erased, and I almost definitely don't remember what I wanted to say. Here's the entry for 9-13, though.
I had a post for november 9-14, but it seems to have been erased, and I almost definitely don't remember what I wanted to say. Here's the entry for 9-13, though.
November 9
I tried to sing some poetry last night, and realized that I am not really a particularly good setter at this moment. There is some poetry by Mur -- "The Mur", "The Empty Wall" -- that really seem to want (not need) a setting, and I've been trying a little bit now and then -- not enough to produce a good result yet.
When I sit down at my computer, I am much more tempted to open Trimps or Swarmsim than I am to open MagicDuel or TextEdit or -- worst of all -- GarageBand.
(Written on the 9th, actually...yay!)
--
November 10-13
I remember no thoughts at all from 10-13 I guess when I work, I just think about work. Also when I don't reflect until two days after the fact, remembering is hard.
The judgement: What a pity.
--
November 10-13
I remember no thoughts at all from 10-13 I guess when I work, I just think about work. Also when I don't reflect until two days after the fact, remembering is hard.
The judgement: What a pity.
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Post -- November 6 (Shabbat) / November 7 / November 8
bs''d
This effort is already a flop, but that is utterly OK. Beginnings are all about the flopping. Think Magikarp, or Feebas. (Or look at Likutei Moharan 62:5)
Here I tried to go backwards by days, and mention honestly some thoughts I had on each day.
I don't know if I succeeded or not.
--
November 8
If I had an opportunity to stop driving, I hope I would take it. After all, driving is very dangerous.
I worry that I will remain in places where the alternative to driving is isolation. Between the two, I know that isolation can hurt more than driving can*. But between the two, I know that I almost always choose isolation.
*(i.e. isolation, the sort I'm talking about anyway, is worse than death)
--
Judgement (why not, I'll include this, but keep it separate)
Maybe I fear the alternative to isolation more than I fear death. What is that alternative? Why would I fear it so much?
(It is probably that "success" that everyone fears...but what kind of success...)
--
November 7
In some areas, the law lets a person do something, that I know hurts them a lot. And it doesn't let another person do the same thing, supposedly because it hurts them a lot.
I find it hard to play by the rules in those areas. You'd think I mean it's hard not to go too far, but in practice I find it hard to uphold the law.
(i.e. I do uphold the law, if my wits are about me. If they're not, it's hard.)
--
Judgement
Why's this my tendency?
Maybe because it feels just as wrong letting the person who legally "may" do what they do...being in a position where I do that, I am already morally "defeated", so why should I keep playing?
Or maybe -- and this is probably being a bit too generous with myself -- maybe I feel that by supporting our artificial boundary, I am eroding the real one.
It's usually a mix of the good and bad reasons, right?
But that bad reason is extremely bad...the worst of the worst, even. A person could do absolutely anything, if they convince themselves of this reason strongly enough, ch''v.
Don't do that, Jeremy! Get up!
--
November 6
I know that the "unimportant" things, like bedroom tidiness and tasty food, hide really cool secrets.
(e.g. food as a vessel holds the promise, or the dread of the future life it represents; its flavor can show the "shape" of the vessel, though I don't know exactly how.)
I also know that in the wrong hands, those things can become truly unimportant, or even evil.
("dread" was the word I used, yes.)
I have asked many times that the days of my life should go to a more skillful set of hands, if such a set exists. I hope every day that I've been answered, but just in case, I try to make a point of showing that willingness again. Then I know that what I have is a gift, and is for me.
I wish knowing were enough. The words for this idea are usually there, but if the idea were in my heart properly, I would live a much more...controversial...life.
I hope this blog will help.
--
Yeah, two sentences is the minimum :P This is just a trick to get myself to actually start writing, though.
This effort is already a flop, but that is utterly OK. Beginnings are all about the flopping. Think Magikarp, or Feebas. (Or look at Likutei Moharan 62:5)
Here I tried to go backwards by days, and mention honestly some thoughts I had on each day.
I don't know if I succeeded or not.
--
November 8
If I had an opportunity to stop driving, I hope I would take it. After all, driving is very dangerous.
I worry that I will remain in places where the alternative to driving is isolation. Between the two, I know that isolation can hurt more than driving can*. But between the two, I know that I almost always choose isolation.
*(i.e. isolation, the sort I'm talking about anyway, is worse than death)
--
Judgement (why not, I'll include this, but keep it separate)
Maybe I fear the alternative to isolation more than I fear death. What is that alternative? Why would I fear it so much?
(It is probably that "success" that everyone fears...but what kind of success...)
--
November 7
In some areas, the law lets a person do something, that I know hurts them a lot. And it doesn't let another person do the same thing, supposedly because it hurts them a lot.
I find it hard to play by the rules in those areas. You'd think I mean it's hard not to go too far, but in practice I find it hard to uphold the law.
(i.e. I do uphold the law, if my wits are about me. If they're not, it's hard.)
--
Judgement
Why's this my tendency?
Maybe because it feels just as wrong letting the person who legally "may" do what they do...being in a position where I do that, I am already morally "defeated", so why should I keep playing?
Or maybe -- and this is probably being a bit too generous with myself -- maybe I feel that by supporting our artificial boundary, I am eroding the real one.
It's usually a mix of the good and bad reasons, right?
But that bad reason is extremely bad...the worst of the worst, even. A person could do absolutely anything, if they convince themselves of this reason strongly enough, ch''v.
Don't do that, Jeremy! Get up!
--
November 6
I know that the "unimportant" things, like bedroom tidiness and tasty food, hide really cool secrets.
(e.g. food as a vessel holds the promise, or the dread of the future life it represents; its flavor can show the "shape" of the vessel, though I don't know exactly how.)
I also know that in the wrong hands, those things can become truly unimportant, or even evil.
("dread" was the word I used, yes.)
I have asked many times that the days of my life should go to a more skillful set of hands, if such a set exists. I hope every day that I've been answered, but just in case, I try to make a point of showing that willingness again. Then I know that what I have is a gift, and is for me.
I wish knowing were enough. The words for this idea are usually there, but if the idea were in my heart properly, I would live a much more...controversial...life.
I hope this blog will help.
--
Yeah, two sentences is the minimum :P This is just a trick to get myself to actually start writing, though.
Thursday, November 5, 2015
Post 1 -- November 5
This blog is meant as an exercise in integrity. Yes, integrity in action is nice, but sometimes there need to be words to go with it.
I worry about doing this, because I've embraced extremes -- not that I knowingly use ideas that include violence* but I allow for there to be some truth buried in the decisions of all, even violent, people.
They are rooted in good; they are even human. The sword is not new. They convinced themselves, one way or another, to do what they did.
*(except against what is visibly -- visibly needs to be defined, here -- visibly Pendelton Ward's Lich, i.e. Amalek.)
About This Blog
bs''d
I'll eventually say something honest, in at least two sentences, every day.
This is a hard thing for me, but I very much want it to happen.
Jeremy M
I'll eventually say something honest, in at least two sentences, every day.
This is a hard thing for me, but I very much want it to happen.
Jeremy M
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)