here, let's type some stuff

I won't act as we've seen, I'm not like
the person who did it, I saw
and won't dare to say "because I'm not like you"

that person is not you
he is not like you

I don't know he is a person

you are not like that
you are better

you aren't that person
you wouldn't do that

there is something unseen, I am certain

Money (poem)

Money

There is this funny number
that shows up in the inbox every week
a reminder from the bank
they want me to be responsible

it says how much I can use others
who would rather not be used

or maybe they would, but if it were me, they would not
they'd have something else better to do.

Money, I hate you, I need you, it seems
because I am confused
because we are confused

because I don't know what the other wants
or if I know, and maybe I do
(some days, not up to me, nor to you)
my heart won't admit it.

I think it's my heart, at least
and I don't know how to show what's true
to the other, the world, my heart
without being cruel

Just in Case (poem)

Not my proudest creation, but it belongs here.  Shared elsewhere first.  I wrote it for one person, but ended up writing it in a way that only G-d or someone close would connect all its parts to me.

This email was written as a result of reading this.  It was not sent.

Just in Case
February 23, 2016

I don't think you know

don't know if that's OK

better write this for you

maybe seen, maybe not

I want you to know

I wish I could say

Your kindness is true

whether meant, whether thought. 

:)

Truth is what's everywhere

You're in one place

when I feel underground

(such disgrace)

it's only a feeling.

Forgetting it sees

your kindness is here

guarding us in its place.

It spreads out its wings

and reaches

pulls up and up

till the grounds below slip

till it and me, we dance.

How to give this dance sound

how to make your words sing...?

I want you to hear it

I want it to ring

--

On bad days, and good ones too

I'm glad if I remember.

Hopefully, I thank the One who reminds me

(naturally or personally).

Hopefully, I also thank you

since you made the memory.

--

The fact you were here

after all this...

after madness and running away

and lost patience

and what could have been threats

after getting excited and pushing too hard

and forcing, using, the wrong hand

and maybe things worse than that 

-- I don't know -- you know --

still willing to say hello

every so often

still out loud to admit

we have something in common.

--

That is enough.

It lifts me up from the pit

and we fly to reach every place.

Even if you forget.

Even if you regret.

That is your kindness

still here, it's you

everywhere.

True.

--

The rest of the email:

(Every once in a very rare while, someone keeps me company on a day when I really know I don't deserve it.  Not just that I don't (that'd mean a much higher frequency) but that I also know I don't.  

It is impossible to know what it seemed like from the other side, but...those times have a special place in my heart.

This is for you, [name].)